


You Make Me Want Things

by JemTheKingOfSass



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Anxiety, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Soulmates, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 11:57:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15388269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemTheKingOfSass/pseuds/JemTheKingOfSass
Summary: Haru snaps his head over to the adjacent lane, searching for what’s missing, knowing he’s alone in the pool but filled with such an intense, gaping void that he looks anyway. This is their dream, together, and more of it should be shared. This isn’t how Haru saw it unfolding when he spread his wings to begin soaring towards his goals.





	You Make Me Want Things

**Author's Note:**

> **TW: Anxiety Attack** Please do not read if the description of an anxiety attack is concerning for you. It's nothing too graphic or drawn-out, but it's very clear that a character is having one.
> 
> This is basically the Rin and Haru telepathic soulmate oneshot that no one asked for. Thank you s3ep1 and RH discord fam for all the inspiration.
> 
>  

 

 

**

 

_Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe._

_Stroke, stroke stroke, stroke, breathe._

_Stroke, stroke, Haru, twelve._

_Wall, flip, push, kick._

_Stroke, stroke, Haru, Haru, breathe._

_Haru, Haru, Haru, Haru, breathe._

_Haru, Haru, Haru, twelve, wall!_

_Wait, what?_

_How?_

_Haru?_

 

**

 

Haru snaps his head over to the adjacent lane, searching for what’s missing, knowing he’s alone in the pool but filled with such an intense, gaping void that he looks anyway. This is their dream, together, and more of it should be shared. This isn’t how Haru saw it unfolding when he spread his wings to begin soaring towards his goals. Sure, he knew Rin was going back to Australia, he’d told him as much when they were _in_ Australia. But now that Haru has a firm grip on exactly what he wants and where he knows he has the capability of ending up, he is coming up a little fundamentally short. Rin should be here. Rin should be here with him, swimming next to him, goading him into a little extra training, taunting him to expand his diet, vary his dryland, get enough sleep. Haru can hear Rin’s teasing echo from a video call last week, _gotta fuel and rest the machine, Nanase._

A sharp longing courses through Haru as he gazes at the empty pool, so strong he would swear it’s physical. He huffs out a sigh past the tightening of his lungs, the clench of his heart, and hoists himself out of the pool. Asahi is babbling something about how thrilling it is to be able to watch Haru swim again and how his technique is still like no one else he’s ever seen, maybe he’ll beat Haru someday, but the flattering words wash over him, he can barely hear them. He teases back something which must be appropriate because it apparently tickles Asahi to no end. All Haru can focus on is breathing past the emotions that are roiling inside him, making him unsteady on his feet, more intense than he’s felt in years. He had struggled last year, but that stress was his own and had made him numb; his fight or flight response has always been to freeze. This reminds him more of middle school, early high school, giant waves of anguish and anger and self-loathing that had paralyzed him more days than he could count. If Makoto had never forced him to keep his feet moving, he might have sat in his tub for five years doing nothing but feeling a foreign pain which continuously threatened to pull him under. 

This turbulence is different though, not less intense, but more positive and with more potential. Haru is filled to the brim with a yearning so strong it teases him, yet still attempts to knock him off his feet. He shuffles to an open shower, yanks the curtain closed, and leans heavily on the wall, panting, waiting for the tsunami to pass. Gradually, everything settles into a low-lying thrum and Haru finally deems himself capable of showering. As the water flows over his shoulders and he’s reaching for his shampoo, the emotion rushes back as though it never left. With a frustrated gasp and a shaking hand, Haru twists the water off and bangs his head lightly into the tiles. He’s annoyed at being overwhelmed, and even more annoyed that he can’t put his finger on this _thing_ he’s craving every time unnamed feelings tangle themselves within him. 

 

**

 

Rin is acutely aware he should talk to Haru about hallucinating the freestyler in the pool practically every time he swims. He has no clue what’s going on lately, but he doesn’t like that it’s keeping him from talking with one of the people he promised he would not shut out this time. He assured his closest friends, his family, and Haru that he would keep in frequent contact, he would not disappear in Australia, even if things start becoming a struggle again. Especially if things start becoming a struggle again. He can’t suffer alone this time, he won’t; that is the promise he makes to himself every day upon waking.

The one thing Rin cannot ever admit is the immense pining for Haru whenever he envisions him in the pool. He wants to reach out and touch Haru, make sure he’s not real, because if somehow Rin could lay his fingers on him, pinch his arm, grab his hand, anything to prove Haru is really and truly right there next to him, he fears he would never let go. Rin doesn’t want to let Haru go and he doesn’t know what that means. That knowledge alone makes him uneasy, and he’s sure Haru would find it nothing short of troublesome. 

Rin sighs as he cranks open his laptop and notices Haru’s icon is active. He glares at the green dot for a beat, before steeling himself for an awkward discussion with his childhood friend, the person he currently obsesses over to the point of delusions every time he swims.

Haru answers the video summons immediately, not giving Rin even a moment to fully collect himself. “Hey.”

Rin feels heat spread across his cheeks as he gazes into the computer screen. He’s not ready for this conversation, doesn’t think he can handle it if Haru judges him for this or thinks he needs some kind of intervention. Maybe he does though. What if he’s got an actual problem that requires-

“Rin.”

Rin refocuses his eyes on the screen and stares at the concerned blue eyes in front of him. “Hey.” Not the most intellectual of greetings, but it’s all he can force out of his mouth before he builds up to the purpose of the call. 

“Are you okay? You look flushed.” Haru gets close to his camera and squints, like he’s trying hard to see Rin better, as clearly as if they are directly in front of each other. Rin thinks his hallucinations are sharper than this slightly pixelated version of Haru, which is ridiculous since this is Haru, the real one, the one that lives and breathes and is trying to have a conversation with him. The sad, depressing truth is that Rin can’t touch either version of Haru and that unsettles him. He doesn’t know when he began believing that he needs to feel Haru under his hands to ground himself, to keep track of what’s real and what’s imagined. 

“I’m…” Rin trails off, he cannot drop this level of crazy onto Haru. He’s losing it and he’s not going to bring down Haru with him. Australia may be good for his swimming but it is definitively not good for his mental state. He scrubs a hand down his face and sighs so hard it rattles in his chest. 

“I can’t focus on swimming lately,” blurts out Haru, probably in an attempt to fill the conversational lag, but Rin clings to the words like a lifeline. 

“What! Why not? What happened?” When Rin left, Haru was completely focused on reaching the same world stage as him. He prays this is not some subtle way of expressing sudden discontent with his choice. He’s allowed to change his mind, it’s not like this will be an easy path for either of them, and there are bound to be missteps and doubts from both of them, but Rin has hoped that Haru would be able to get further before questioning it all, doubting the path, doubting Rin, doubting _himself._

Haru shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’m feeling too much when I’m swimming. I’m feeling you.” He shrugs and glances over towards his left, which Rin knows is where the window is, as Haru has given him a video tour of his flat, promising that Rin will stay with him when he is first able to travel to Tokyo. He’s assured Rin that he has a perfect space for him to stay when he’s back in the country. Rin fears it’s the loft, but refuses to actually worry about that until he’s physically in Japan with Haru and being unceremoniously directed up the ladder. 

“What does that mean, Haru?” Rin hones in on what Haru has just told him. 

Haru raises a shoulder again, eyebrows drawn together in mild confusion. “I don’t know. I think I want to be swimming with you again. And I get that pull when I’m in the pool. I don’t know Rin, it’s really strong. It makes me swim faster, thinking about you swimming with me, but, I can’t always shake it off.” Maybe Haru won’t think he’s completely lost the plot if he is struggling with something similar. Rin bites his lower lip, hesitating, waiting to see if there’s more that will come out of Haru first. 

After an almost uncomfortably long silence, only teetering on the good side of quiet because of the two people immersed in it, Rin can’t hold back. “Haru, I...I think I feel you in the pool too.”

Haru blinks at him, eyebrows raised, expecting more. 

“Ummm, I...well, I see you when I’m practicing.” Rin whispers the last part, emotions warring within him, relieved he’s said it out loud but still anxious over the reception. 

“You see me? What do you mean?” Haru is curious and Rin should have known better. Haru is the most non-judgmental person he knows, the most accepting of things that others might find odd or disconcerting. Yet somehow, Haru acknowledging the possible existence of merfolk and life on distant planets will likely pale in comparison to Rin having visions. 

“I mean I see you, swimming next to me, like when we’re racing. It’s good, I mean, it focuses me in the water and I like it. I _like_ it, Haru, you driving me to be my best. But. I know you’re not really there.” Rin keeps talking, ideally not digging a hole Haru isn’t willing to pull him out of.

“Have you ever seen visions of me outside of the pool?” Haru inquires, not aware of the maelstrom that uncovers. Rin chokes on his tea as he realizes there is no way he can admit to trying to call Haru to mind that _one time_ when he was in bed and desperately sifting through all the confusion in his head. He just wondered if he could detect Haru in someplace other than the pool, that’s it. And that time in the shower, but that wasn’t on purpose. Now is not the time for courage to fail him.

“Well, I…”

“Just say it, Rin,” coaxes Haru. “I asked.”

Rin swallows past his mortification. “I saw you in the shower like two days ago, just, you know, washing your hair. In your jammers. Although you did have your goggles on too, which was kinda weird, but probably not as weird as me admitting I pictured you showering next to me, ah fuck, just forget I said all that, Haru.” Rin wants to sink into his chair and die because, assuredly and without a doubt, he has just ruined what has been building to one of the best friendships he’s ever had. Things between them had gotten so hurtful and muddled when they were younger, but it all somehow served to bring them so much closer, and there are fleeting moments in time when Rin desperately wonders if they have a different kind of relationship than anyone else Haru is friends with. He’d like that, being special and knowing Haru in a way that no one else does, yet chalks most of what they have up to a specific shared dream and rigorous training schedule. 

Haru is frowning through the screen at Rin, and now he knows he has completely and irrevocably messed everything up. Rin clutches his head in frustration and growls out nonsense, before reaching for the top of his laptop. 

“I’ve gotta go, Haru, just...yeah I’ve gotta go.” Rin mumbles out a goodbye before slamming his computer closed, severing his connection with Haru, which is the very last thing he has ever wanted. 

 

**

 

_But._

_That’s impossible._

_There’s no way._

_Is there?_

_Rin._

 

**

 

Haru glares at the blank screen far past the abrupt conclusion of the video call. His thoughts are stuck on an endless loop of disbelief and shock, lightly woven through with the slimmest thread of hope, their conversation slamming into every corner of his mind. He’s tempted to call Rin back immediately, wishing for once he hadn’t frozen and gotten no words out, since Rin is clearly humiliated at admitting he thought of Haru while he was showering. Haru has thought of Rin in the bath before, it’s not a big deal, at least he doesn’t think it is, not sure why it would be. They’re friends, and friends should be able to dream about each other while they are soaking in a tub. Haru is convinced this is so much bigger than that because he is now aware of a crucial piece of information that Rin doesn’t know, he disconnected too quickly for Haru to process and share it. 

Two days ago Haru had dragged himself into the showers, seriously considering just going home sopping wet because he was that fatigued after practice. He had been out of control the whole afternoon, distant emotions swinging wildly within him, both spurring him on with each lap and yet making him unbearably tired. He even forgot to bring a towel with him over to the stall, he’d just slunk in like a zombie, blindly turned the dial, and stood underneath the spray. He hadn’t even bothered to take his goggles off. He doesn’t recall ever showering with his goggles covering his eyes before.

An idea slithers around the edges of this brain, poking in, trying to take a solid shape Haru can seize and act on. He pads over to the bathroom and stares at the tub like it holds Life’s answers. In this case, he thinks it might. Before being able to second-guess himself, though admittedly now is not the time to begin practicing nearly non-existent self-control, he turns on the tap, sheds his clothes, and slips into the slowly filling bathtub. He squeezes his eyes shut, aware that probably doesn’t matter in the slightest, it just allows him to focus on something beyond the soothing splash of liquid on his toes, the ripples that move around his form, the sound of the water as it flows out of the faucet. Instead he channels as much of his mental energy as he can into one precise thought. 

_Rin._

 

**

 

Rin manages to heave himself off his desk chair after determining that he is, unfortunately, still alive. At least he’s in a different city, on a different _continent_ , and doesn’t have to face Haru in person for months. In fact, he won’t be back in his home country until the All-Japan Invitational, at which point Haru will have cut himself off from Rin for so long this won’t matter anymore. He will be the amusing anecdote Haru uses to connect with future teammates, the guy training overseas who used to prattle on about international swimming and medley relays, spouting “for the team”, which is a lovely concept except he’s delusional so it’s not important after all. Maybe they can even somehow still be friends, or at the very least go back to acting like rivals, which is better than nothing. Rin inhales the deepest breath he can, mindful of the fact he needs to calm down in order to not send himself hurtling down a foreboding path. He’s older now, he’s grown, he should be better than this self-recrimination but _he’s not_. He stalks into the bathroom with the intention of splashing cold water on his face in an effort to clear his head. As he reaches for the dry washcloth next to the sink, his eyes look past his reflection in the mirror and light upon the bathtub behind him. He spins around to glare at it.

“Tch. Solving your problems with a damn bath. Good, Rin, yes that’s totally the way to get Haru off your mind, stupid.” Rin scoffs but stands in the bathroom, rooted to the floor. Grudgingly, he twists the knob, plugs the drain, and watches the bathtub gradually fill. “Ridiculous.” With a sigh and an eye roll, for no one’s sake but his own, he pulls off his sweatpants and tank top and steps into the water. He slides down as far as he can in the shallow tub, opting to submerge himself up to his shoulders and keep his knees dry. He feels a brief pang for his mother’s soaking tub, but focuses on his breathing and closes his eyes.

As Rin’s tilts his head back to rest it on the edge of the tub, he can feel some of the tight tension and anxiety leaving his body. He isn’t sure why he’s coiled so rigidly, so unsettled, everything he’s been experiencing in the water is so positive; swimming with visions of Haru gets his blood fizzing and clears his brain of distractions. His mind drifts solely to the freestyler, perhaps an inevitable outcome of soaking in any body of water for any period of time. Maybe he won’t think anything weird about Rin admitting he pictured him in the shower, and he thanks all the stars in the sky he never got close to mentioning that he tried to call Haru to mind while in his bed. Before Rin can venture down the implications of those thoughts, he is drawn back to the reality of sitting in a bathtub trying to clamp down on the panic. Even when he’s trying to avoid it, all he can think about is his friend.

_Haru, Haru, Haru._

_Rin?_

 

**

 

Haru listens, hears Rin chanting his name. He sits up, his shoulders now well out of the water. It’s so quiet in the bathroom, the water sloshing with the barest of movement sounds thunderous, it’s as if all of Tokyo also waits with bated breath for insight. The window is open, but the only noise Haru focuses on is Rin’s voice, which is again silent. He is positive he heard his voice, heard him so deeply in his head that Rin’s unique baritone reverberated within his core. Haru sinks back into the water, and after a second, ducks his head down under the surface as well. He reached out already, but he will pursue Rin as often as is necessary, sending out whatever signals needed for correspondence. His stomach is in knots with the excitement of a sudden, lightning-quick drop on a rollercoaster; there is something happening here, the atmosphere is charged with an electric tension Haru craves to glide through and comprehend. He and Rin perceive each other in ways that two people who are thousands of miles away from each other should be impossible. He opens his eyes, picturing Rin’s face above him, distorted through the gentle motion of the water, but yet unbelievably clear and sharp and _Rin_. Haru isn’t sure if he sees him or can merely call him to mind as easily as snapping his fingers. 

_Haru, idiot, don’t drown in the bath._

Haru scrambles up out of the water, coughing out the bit he swallowed despite the playfully derisive warning to not drown. He is more scattered now than he’s ever felt before, belying how laser-focused he was when he conjured Rin’s face out of thin air. That was Rin’s voice, that was a mix of his tolerant-of-the-silly-things-Haruka-does-on-a-regular-basis and what-the-hell-am-I-gonna-do-with-this-guy tones and Haru is quite familiar with both. He’s disconcerted, but his blood sings with possibility, the very air around him whispering promises of Rin. He’s panting like he’s just done an all-out hundred meter freestyle, but those usually give him the relief of not thinking about anything and right now he cannot shut his brain off. 

 

**

 

There is absolutely no way Rin just heard Haru in his head, inquiring as to his well-being with only the manner in which he utters one syllable. No. If Rin contemplated the fact he’s slowly losing touch with his sanity before, he now realizes things are rapidly spiraling out of control. He’s not only hallucinating Haru in a corporeal form, but he’s actually hearing his voice, sensing the silken timbre of it within his mind. His eyes are closed so tightly his eyelids ache but he’s scared to open them, convinced he will see Haru in front of him.

Rin is so sure that Haru will be right in his face, he is surprised when he cracks open his eyes and there’s nothing but the empty shower in his vision. His shoulders sag with disappointment or relief, he’ll never be sure exactly which, but he’s definitely all alone in his bath, which is exactly as it should be, minus hearing Haru’s unmistakable cadence still vivid in his mind. He sits up and leans forward, hooking his arms around his knees, when he sees him; Haru is underneath the water staring directly up at him. 

“Haru, idiot, don’t drown in the bath,” scolds Rin frantically, before remembering that this isn’t real, he’s hallucinating again, only now he’s picturing Haru watching him from underneath the surface of the water. Rin’s chest heaves with the shallow air he manages to inhale and exhale shakily, as he scoots back from not-Haru until his back slams into the cheap fiberglass wall of the bathtub. His head pounds, his heart races, and his gasping grows steadily more erratic. He is startlingly aware of where this situation is going; this is far from his first anxiety attack, but he hasn’t had one since leaving Japan, and Rin has been doing remarkably well at controlling his triggers and employing all the coping techniques he’s dutifully learned and practiced. He’s been trying so hard and it’s all been for nothing and he can’t breathe and he’s so fucking pissed because he’s a swimmer with Olympic dreams but he’s gonna pass out in the damn tub which means he’ll drown and that’ll be the irony of the fucking century and oh gods his stomach hurts because he can’t breathe can’t breathe cant-

_Rin._

_Rin, breathe._

_Rin._

_In and out, Rin._

_In._

_Out._

_In and out, Rin._

_Breathe, Rin._

_In._

_Out._

_Rin._

_Good job, Rin._

_We’ve done this before._

_You and me._

_In and out._

_Breathe, Rin._

 

**

 

Haru senses the moment Rin starts to panic, the strength of it crashes through him as his own chest gets tight. He’s walked in on Rin’s anxiety attacks twice and been present for countless others. He had first seen Rin’s mother, and then Gou and Sousuke, talk Rin through those, at which point Haru sought out answers, adamantly requesting his mother, sister, and best friend teach him all effective methods and how to best implement them, not wanting to be caught unaware if Rin ever needed him. He’s not sure how many times he’s had to soothe Rin in this manner, but now it comes as naturally to him as swimming, though he’s never had to fight through sharing the physical intensity before. His first impulse is to get out of the bath, because his suspicions seem to be accurate so far, but as one leg is swung over the edge of the tub, he recognizes the need to bear the dual burden and stay submerged. He can reach Rin faster if he’s in the water, he doesn’t understand why, but he’s never been more certain of anything.

Haru channels his energy into walking Rin through taking breaths, aching to be sitting by his side rubbing slow, steady figure eights on his back as he talks. Haru usually feels through his palms when Rin starts to emerge from the darkness, as his back muscles loosen and the harsh, erratic heaving motions of his body stabilize. Haru doesn’t have that this time; instead he has to focus, stay sharp, and use this fledgling connection to sense when Rin yet again rises from the ashes.

Haru feels when Rin’s mind gives his body back the control, as his own heart relaxes and he is again aware of his own emotions more clearly than Rin’s. He recalls what comes next, slow easy conversation to keep Rin anchored; Haru wonders if he should just get out of the bath and pick up his phone, but somehow this is more intimate and he likes it. He wants to figure it out and wants Rin to accept it, whatever this ends up being. Haru can’t explain anything yet, can’t quite wrap his head around the mystical possibilities, but they can’t ignore this. He and Rin are intrinsically connected somehow, and it’s the water that keeps bringing them together in this manner. Water is what has always brought them together, it’s simply never felt like this. 

_Rin._

_Remember, Rin, that day we went to the toy store to find gifts for the twins? Makoto told us that they liked Bakugon and Zhu Zhu pets and we didn’t know what either of those things were. Rin, we walked around the store aimlessly until Makoto could join us. We picked up anything that looked like it might be right and then we just started picking up everything. Rin, remember how when Makoto found us, we were by the light pink plastic dishes and that play kitchen. Rin, you were rolling around the floor in stitches with a lap of stuffed animals claiming they must all be Zhu Zhu pets, so I made up that stupid story about how Bakugon is the name of the cafe they go to when they want chocolate cake. Rin, we served the stuffed animals tea and cake with those pink plates and cups. Rin, do you remember?_

 

**

 

Rin recollects that day as clearly as if it is happening right now. He listens to Haru describe how it started, chest feeling lighter the longer he hears the story unfurl in his head. His breathing is finally slowing and when he swipes a hand across his forehead this time, maybe the sweat won’t come back instantly. His stomach is still in knots, always taking far too long before the nausea disappears and his abdominal muscles don’t feel like he’s done a thousand crunching exercises. He slumps down further into the tub, thinking about how foolish it is to be in the water during an anxiety attack, but he can’t bring himself to get out yet. He wishes he were floating, letting Haru’s voice wash over him like a gentle breeze over the sea as the waves undulate below.

_Haru._

_I think the hippo ordered a fruit tart and then the giraffe got angry because that was the last slice, so she had to change her order to the only thing that was left after the chocolate cake and the fruit tart. Didn’t the giraffe get stuck with pecan pie? And then you and Makoto asked me what pecan pie is, and I told you it was something that I had eaten down in Australia, thinking it wouldn’t be sweet because it’s nuts, but it was the grossest dessert I think I’ve ever had._

Their conversation carries on long enough for Rin to forget how weird it is that he’s communicating with Haru through only his mind, as if Haru were right there in his bathroom with him. They don’t discuss anything important, simply share silly stories from the last couple years back and forth, effortlessly spanning the distance between them. It’s not until Rin’s heart rate is completely back to normal and his skin is beyond wrinkled that it becomes clear that whatever is going on needs to be addressed. 

Rin hauls himself out of the tub, dries off and dresses, then grabs his phone. Fortunately, his call is answered immediately. 

“Rin?”

“Haru, I don’t know what’s going on,” mumbles Rin, completely unsure of the situation but trusts in Haru to clarify things. Somehow, he not only knew that he needed to reach Rin just now, but he knew _how_ to accomplish that, even from across an ocean.

Haru hums, thinking out loud. “Where are you right now?”

Rin replies automatically, though it’s an odd, seemingly random query. “Sydney, Australia. I’m...at my flat on Cumberland Street and I’m standing in the kitchen. I was just about to sit on one of the bar stools, umm, probably the one on the left because then I can rest my arm on the part of the counter that’s higher. I don’t really know what you’re asking but that must have covered it.”

Haru huffs out a small laugh. “Put the phone down for a minute, then concentrate really hard on me and getting me to hear what you’re thinking. No phone, no saying anything out loud, then pick the phone back up.”

Nerves flutter in his stomach as Rin carefully places his phone on the counter face down, and closes his eyes. He isn’t sure how he communicated thoughts to Haru before, he merely thought them while picturing Haru listening, and that was enough. So that’s what he does now, even though he is at a complete loss as to what the topic should be. He thinks of the dumb get-to-know-you survey that was handed out at the first team meeting of his current swim club, and focuses on that. He’s actually pretty excited when he thinks about it, this is so weird, but he’d rather be crazy with Haru than perfectly ordinary all by himself. 

_Haru._

_My favorite colors are red and black. My lucky number is 2. My favorite song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams. My favorite food is any kind of steak cooked medium rare._

_I don’t know what else to say Haru, but time’s up._

Rin picks up his phone. “Hey Haru, did you get all that? You probably knew most of that already, except maybe not the music because I’m pretty sure that song just came out, plus there’s no way you keep up on music in English.”

“Rin, I didn’t get anything from you really, except maybe a vague emotion. I think you were nervous but I didn’t really feel much,” admits Haru, sounding like he’s testing theories and Rin is his guinea pig. “Now go get a bowl and fill it with water.”

“What? Haru, what on earth does...wait. You don’t think....” Rin is floored and there is absolutely no possible way Haru is contemplating that water has any bearing on whatever this situation is brewing between them. Rin distinctly recalls visions of Haru in the pool, in the shower, and this past afternoon in the bath. He ponders his inability to conjure Haru, no matter how determined his focus or how very much Rin craved him, while laying in his bed, totally _dry_. “Haru, water? Isn’t that a little cliche even for you?”

“You’re not any better, Rin.”

“No, that’s true I suppose. We’re both water freaks,” jokes Rin, worrying his bottom lip in anticipation. He gets off the stool to grab the biggest bowl he has, which happens to be a giant serving bowl that his mother swore he would put to use when he hosts teammates over for dinner and needs a place to put the salad or rolls. It had taken all his self-control to not roll his eyes and explain how that is an unlikely scenario at the best of times, but he is exceedingly grateful he’s got such a huge vessel right at this moment. 

“We’re not freaks. This is just us learning how to control our natural element. Maybe everyone can do this.” Haru sounds so sure of himself, Rin thinks for a minute that perhaps anyone _can_ communicate through their minds, as though hearing another person’s inner dialogue is as easy as lifting a phone to one's ear, finding a signal boost, accepting the charges of the collect mind-meld. If that’s the case though, surely someone would have mentioned it by now, either as bragging rights or cautionary tales. 

Rin scoffs. “Please. Alchemical elements? How would somebody use fire for this? Hard to amplify anything except pain if you shove your hand in a campfire.”

“That’s true,” muses Haru. “Air and earth are easier. Water looks like it might be the second most challenging. But you’re right, fire would pose a problem.”

“Haru, are you joking? You can’t honestly think that this is a thing!”

“We can’t be the only ones. Now stick your hand in the water, Rin.”

Rin sits back down and plunges his left hand into the bowl, hissing as his skin breaks the surface, wishing he hadn’t chosen the coldest water possible. “I’m doing it.”

“Okay,” mutters Haru, voice breathy and not as confident as before. The moment is heavy with expectation, weighed down by an impossibility within their shared grasp. “Now put your phone down again for a minute and try to tell me something else.”

Rin complies, then dunks his other hand into the bowl, swallowing past the nerves, knees jiggling and banging lightly against the bottom of the countertop. This time when he closes his eyes, he pictures Haru sitting next to him in the kitchen, chin resting in his hands as he props himself up on the counter. Haru would be a fish out of his Japanese pond in Sydney, but he’d be so at home in this cozy flat with Rin. He forgets about the swim club fact sheet and instead ponders what he yearns to tell Haru, if only the fear of rejection wasn’t such a palpable, pulsating entity which holds him back from investigating this place. Rin longs to poke in the corners, explore everything there is to offer here, but instead stands alone in the middle of the room listening to his own voice echo against the walls, his sole heartbeat the only one he’s ever allowed himself to hear. He feels relatively secure that this won’t work, this isn’t enough water, every other time he’s hallucinated he’s been completely soaked. This is safe because even if he peels back his skin and bares his soul, Haru won’t be able to hear what Rin has been denying to himself; this is the stuff of dreams, not any reality he is cognizant of, yet Rin is the fool who is sitting with his hands wrist-deep in a bowl of water.

 

**

 

_Haru._

_I’m picturing you in Sydney right now, sitting next to me in my kitchen. I want to peek and see if you’re there, but I think I’d be too disappointed that you’re not, so I’m keeping my eyes closed for now. I’m a little out of my depth here, this is like the stuff out of magical novels or fairy tales. How is this happening? We’re just two college swimmers from a rural fishing town._

_Haru, the last time you were here, I told you I’ve always admired you. It’s true. It’s so true, but I think it’s more than that. I, well, I think about you so much more than I should probably think about a childhood friend, no matter how hard we’ve fought to build our friendship back up and keep it strong. I miss you, I miss you so much, while I’m swimming obviously, there’s no one like you in the pool. But out of the pool, I want you by my side, with me. I wish you were with me. Even as I say that though, I know you’re where you belong too, and you’re happy, and that makes me happy, and I’ll stop saying ‘happy’ now._

_You make me want things I can’t have. I need to be here, for my swimming goals, for my dream. As much as I want to be with you, I can’t go home yet. I have too much work to do and this is the place it needs to be done. But I still miss you and wish somehow we could be together. I’m so greedy, this is phenomenal isn’t it? What we’re doing? It’s like you’re kinda here even though you’re not. If only this had been possible when we were younger, maybe Australia could have been better the first time around. I don’t know. Maybe you felt me back then, and I felt you, and we didn’t even realize it._

_I like you, Haru, I really like you, and I think I have for a long time. Which is stupid and silly and doesn’t matter because we have so much else going on, both of us, plus it’s a bigger headache that either of us is probably ready to deal with but, I just, want you to know how I feel. About you._

_Haru, I’m way over a minute here, and I really hope this is enough water because I don’t know if I can say these things again, not like this, without you actually here to listen to them. Although you know me, what are the odds I could get through all this without my face going up in flames before I even get through the whole thing. I care about you so much Haru, you are so gorgeous and talented and creative, and someday I think, we could maybe be more. I think I’d like to know what’s it’s like to love you. I think I could love you, Haru._

_I-I’m gonna take my hands out of the water now, Haru._

Haru watches Rin, sitting calmly, with both hands submerged into a humongous bowl filled with water. His lips aren’t moving but Haru hears every word that is uttered with confidence. As soon as Rin had mentioned that he longed for Haru to be sitting by his side, Haru scrabbled for the sink, running a hand urgently under the stream before finding whatever he could to fill, so he could get wet enough to test himself and this gossamer fantasy. He’s seen Rin’s kitchen from pictures, and thanks to his unintentionally vague question from earlier, he knows exactly where Rin is sitting while they are communicating.

As soon as Haru’s fingers breach the water, Rin’s voice is louder in his head, clearer, sharper, as though he’s talking directly into his very mind. He’s blanketed by Rin’s warmth and conviction, emotion practically pulsing out of him as he shares his thoughts with Haru. Haru visualizes himself on one of the stools next to Rin, he so very much wants to be there; he feels like he’s been wishing to be with Rin in his home all day long. But Haru likes his new life, he enjoys Tokyo and appreciates the opportunity he received in snagging a position to a high-level swimming school. He has been reconnecting with past friends and enjoying his classes and he’s still with Makoto, he doesn’t think he can give that all up, isn’t even sure if he wants to. But right now, he longs to be in one specific kitchen in Australia, somehow, so he can be with Rin in a way that is uniquely theirs. He doesn’t know why they have this, how to fully comprehend the magic, but perhaps he doesn’t have to, because it’s alluring and undeniable and it will get him where he wants to be. 

Haru peeks through barely opened eyelids, and almost pulls himself away from the moment with his own shock. He’s here. He’s _here_. This must be what Rin means by having visions of him, but this is Haru’s first taste and he is wonderstruck. Rin sits in front of him, making miniscule facial expressions that match up with every pretty, heartfelt word that flows out of him, appearing at ease in the message he delivers. Haru listens and stares, drinking in the image of Rin, who is the most beautiful, courageous, and spirited person Haru has ever known. If Haru’s truthful with himself, down at his very core, a place he rarely spends time rooting around, he’s always been a little in love with Rin; then again, it’s impossible for anyone to not be a little in love with Rin and everything he brings into people’s lives. And Rin wants to know what it’s like to love Haru, thinks he might, thinks he could, imagines exploring those feelings someday. With Haru. 

Then Haru hears the last thing Rin says and notices him start to lift his arms.

_No, Rin, wait!_

_Open your eyes first._

Rin snaps his eyes open and turns his head, disbelief and hope warring on his face, playing over his exquisite features.

 _I’m here Rin, I’m here._

Haru isn't sure if he feels Rin’s shocked elation before or after they they lock gazes, but he knows their reactions match. Somehow, if a third person could see both of them, he wonders what they must look like as a pair, perched on stools grinning like fools, hands buried in bowls of water. 

_I imagine we look ridiculous, Haru._

Haru bursts out laughing, hoping Rin hears that too, surely he sees it, because here they are staring at each other face-to-face even though they haven't been in the same country for weeks. Through some kind of unexplained spiritual connection that they'll likely never fathom on any level beyond what they fleetingly grasp already, he's right next to Rin, listening to him reverberate in his mind, and Haru is not sure if he's ever felt more at ease or happy. 

_This is…_

_It's magic, Rin._

_My grandmother used to tell me stories about soulmates._

_Mine did too. About two people who find each other and fall in love, then discover they were pulled together by otherworldly forces, out of their control. She called it the red string of fate._

_Red string of fate, eh Haru? That sounds lamer than soulmates._

_No it doesn't. It means you're drawn together through space and time, connected by a mystical thread that binds you for eternity._

_That's romantic, right?_

_It is. Do you believe in soulmates, Rin?_

_I…I’ve never really thought about it. Do you?_

_I've always thought it's possible that there's more to understand than we currently do, than we possibly can. But I believe in you and I believe in this._

_I believe in this too, Haru. Do you think… we're… soulmates?_

_I think we might be. What's that huge smile for, being soulmates?_

_I can't think of anything I want more._

_Me either._

_I wish…_

_What, Rin?_

_I feel like I want too much, like I can’t just appreciate this for what it is. I want to touch you, hug you, I know you’re here but I want to feel it, feel you._

_Maybe we can someday. Now that we know we’re connected, maybe there’s more to discover. What if there’s more to this bond than just this?_

_Haru._

_Don’t cry, Rin._

_This means that we’re together no matter where we are._

_That makes me really happy._

_Haru, I-_

 

**

 

Rin snatches his hands out of the oversized bowl and squeezes his eyes shut. He is a whirlpool of emotions, positive ones, thrilling ones, things that fill his soul to bursting with satisfaction, but he is still overwhelmed. He needs to touch Haru so badly he aches. Soulmates, red string of fate, whatever binds them, it’s too powerful for Rin’s spirit to bear alone, it’s too much. He wants to curl around Haru to protect him and be protected, yearns to hear Haru’s heartbeat underneath his ear and his palm, longs to weave their hands together, able to give and receive reassuring squeezes whenever necessary. Rin wants to collapse on the floor and weep until all the tears leave his body, his ability to process all of this has left him spent. 

Rin grabs his phone before trudging to the bedroom and flopping onto the bed. He owes Haru an apology for being such a disaster. He lays there and must drift off because the next thing he is aware of is his phone chirping a dolphin call. He blinks mostly awake and answers. “Haru, I’m sorry.”

“It’s a lot. It’s okay, Rin. I don’t know what to think either.” Rin yawns and brings Haru with him into the bathroom, where his bath is still full of now tepid water. 

Rin sighs. “I know, I just, I should appreciate this for what it is. It’s a gift and I’m getting upset over it.”

“Are you willing to try one more thing with me tonight?” Haru inquires in his usual tone, but there’s a underlying plea lacing through his words. Maybe Haru is just as unsettled by this as he is; Rin should know better by now than to assume Haru is not shaken by something simply because he doesn’t appear like a mess. 

“Always.” It’s true. Rin thinks he would do anything Haru asked of him. It’s been true before, but it feels like a blood oath now. Somehow they are a part of each other, inseparable, destined for each other but with no obvious otherworldly path to follow. 

“Let’s get in the bath together again. This time, let’s try to touch each other.”

“Haru-”

“Please, Rin.” 

Rin doesn’t require another word to strip to his boxers and lower himself into the tub while waiting for Haru to do the same. “I’m in.” When Haru confirms he is also submerged, they hang up their phones in order to focus. Rin wants this but tries to not hope too fervently that this will be successful, and yet he’s eager, expectancy thrums through him. He slides down as far as possible and pushes everything but Haru out of his mind. He thinks about what he most desires, right now, in this moment. Blindly, he stretches out his hand, reaching forward to grasp what his heart seeks. In his mind, Haru sits across from him, leaning in, his own slender fingers extended towards Rin. Their legs would be touching if this was a tangible thing they could seize with both their hands, but Rin can’t feel anything. It’s real in every way except how Rin craves it the most. 

_Rin._

_Touch me._

Rin snaps back into focus and pushes forward, lunging for Haru like he’s the wall at the end of the two hundred fly, when his shoulders burn and his hips protest, but he carries on because it’s what he is trained to do. This requires no instruction, instinct draws him forward like a magnet. They’re so close, their hands are moments apart and Rin thinks he might explode from the longing coursing through him. 

_Haru._

There’s ringing in his ears as Rin makes contact with the soft pads of Haru’s fingers, and physical awareness rushes through his entire body. There is a foot pressing against each hip, his own are between Haru’s legs, his ankles resting on the inside of Haru’s knees. He opens his eyes and Haru is in his bathtub, or as good as, and Rin is able to touch him, to feel his skin and his pulse beating steadily. He brings his other hand up and Haru immediately places his own firmly against it. They sit staring at one another, minds an endless litany of each other’s names as they maintain focus, Rin too afraid to think anything else lest Haru disappear. 

Rin laces his fingers between Haru’s, both hands gripping each other like lives hang in the balance of this fragile bond, though this is anything but fleeting. Rin chokes out a breath as his throat grows thick, his eyes tingle with the tightness of impending tears. His cheeks are warm, he glances down to see Haru’s are also flushed. Rin can’t move, he’s frozen with a joy he’s not sure that he’s ever felt before, all his senses are heightened, he’s more aware of his body, feeling Haru at every point of contact. Their gazes are locked together, Haru’s eyes burning with an intensity Rin would gladly try to decipher for the rest of his life if given the chance. Rin could conquer anything in this moment, he and Haru could conquer it together. 

_Haru._

Suddenly Rin is tugged forward, Haru pulling on his hands, drawing them nearer together. He should feel embarrassed at being in a bathtub with Haru while they are both only in their boxers, but Haru’s not really there, except that he _is_ , yet Rin just can’t bring himself to feel anything but elation and peace. He stops sliding forward when his folded knees and their still joined hands are the only things separating them from fusing together. He uncurls his legs to the sides of Haru, shifting them even closer, which brings their underwear in contact as he now sits in Haru’s lap, but Rin still doesn’t possess a shred of tension or shame. Everything is as it should be.

Haru releases Rin’s hands, still gazing at him, unwrapping him, drilling down into the full essence of Rin, so deeply hidden that even he’s not sure that he is entirely conscious of everything that lives there. Long arms securely wrap around his back; their chests lie flush together and Rin is profoundly aware of every place their skin touches, as Haru’s soothing cool spreads throughout him. He is hugging Haru through the power of their minds, and it should be frightening but it’s perfect; he is surrounded by Haru, every nerve tingling. Haru fills him in every way that matters. Rin clings so tightly that he wonders if Haru will vanish in a wisp of air and Rin will be left with nothing but himself. 

_Even if I do disappear Rin, I will always find my way back to you._

Rin tilts his head down, laying his forehead on Haru’s shoulder. He can’t hold it in anymore, sobs wrack through his frame as he hangs on to Haru with all the strength of his mind and soul. He can’t lose this, he won’t lose it. This is home, and he will always be able find his way with Haru’s light showing him the path. Nimble fingers gently card through his hair, leaving a soothing chill in their wake, rooting Rin to the moment, to their connection, to Haru.

_I’ll find you too, Haru._

_I promise._

_I love you._

 

**

 

Haru gasps, able to tune out the tears he feels soaking his shoulder, the fingers digging into his back, the heat he perceives as he is completely enveloped by Rin. He is warmed from the inside out as those words flow into him and light a fire within him. Their two grandmothers called it different things, perhaps this bond is soulmates or the red string of fate, but it could be both or neither. It might simply be a love so pure it transcends their imagined barriers, anything that dares to keep them apart. They are joined by a link so powerful it can be harnessed through the water with only the strength of their emotions. This is monumental, so much bigger than the two of them, too much to understand, and yet they are the only people who matter and it is stunningly simple. Rin may be in a different country, on the opposite side of the world, but Haru has never felt more at home.

_I love you too, Rin._

_Always._

 

**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what happened here, I just wanted a little water-enhanced telepathic soulmate RH because it's ~~canon~~ so beautiful to think about. The goal was short, easy fluff. (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ)) Someday y'all.
> 
> I listened to a variety of music while writing this, but this is the song that I was playing as this idea took shape. ["Alone in Kyoto" by Air](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1tIfoYjwo)


End file.
